perched (a poem)
once again perched among the beautiful people
and organic zuchinni and body wash
everyone is here
a food party and fashion show
scuffed sneaks costing more than a month of groceries
it’s high time in mecca
wellness and beauty
wine and craft beers
have taken center stage here
and today
finally
i am not seeking more than a thrill
and a pint of ice cream
made of air, cream, and sugar
the gourmet in me
knows that mac and cheese
is fancy or particularly healthy
but here
snaking through the aisles
with the scent of sandalwood
chanel and cut citrus
following a whimsical idea
towards the grain-free breakfast cereals
and a moment arrives
awareness of my own boredom
there is nothing i need or desire
i am complete
satisfied
and loved
the view is interesting
yet holds no promise
4-18-22
how to let you go (a poem)
how long will i look for a face
among the throng
roaming the whole foods beer section
and notice
an absence
missing in action
gone like yesterday
there is no metaphor that fits
and no messages coming back
too busy
chaos
still not one thing i can do about it
keep moving up and away
allow ‘if onlys’ to recede
and this ache in my chest
to inherit new meaning
no longer missing
but missing
big love
i knew once
4-6-22
fall window
[from a second wave – poetry]
out the window all i can see
is the places where you are missing
the changing of the weather
and reaching for warmth in the cold night
the early darkness
descending on my days of sunshine
i hope the world is happy where you are
and that you don’t feel the sting
of this fall evening
the smell of smoke fires
and the light
that no longer finds your eyes
11-9-14
i believe, i pray, i fly
[from Making Love To Other Women – poetry]
and if i bring poems to her and she doesn’t understand
when i sing songs and she gets bored
if i offer a casual massage and she’s too busy
what then?
and if i ask and provide opportunities
when i wait and hold out hope
can i become addicted to longing
what then?
i know what missing you feels like
before we’ve even met
i can smell you, and feel your hair in my face
i know what i have lost
and if the shower after the day on the beach
and the cool dark unfamiliar room
rough and clean white sheets
the curtains billowing in the blow of the ac
and if my longing does not call you in
and my waiting proves fruitless again
i can still send out sirens songs
and use this desire as a sail
of course i hunger for her
and a near miss is a miss completely
and a word, a poem, a song, are precious
even without an ear to whisper into
in fibers deep in my soul i know
she is nearby, doing her thing
i am not finished with my baking
these ‘projects’ are just beginning
perhaps at this moment
she would be a distraction
and from afar she is muse, lover, mother
vixen, tease, goddess, everything
i know what longing feels like
i learned to do without even when she was next to me
i can thrive alone, in desirous creation
i don’t want to, but i do
sing along little bird
bring your bright feathers into my mouth
give flight to your fantasies as well
there is time, there is time, there is always time
hearts a flutter in beautiful presence
i am still becoming more loveable
my plan is drawing you in
even as I have failed to execute in the past
i can call, and write, and throw
poems and intentions and agendas at you
i can wait and be patient
to see if you will ignite
perhaps you are that one
that madonna that brings me to god, again
again, I am ready
i believe, i pray, i fly
i believe, i pray, i fly
6-19-13
