Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Posts tagged “she is here

and she was (a poem)

and she was (a poem)

and she was (a poem)

and she was in front of me
like every other day
and today
i stopped
to praise her beauty
i forget sometimes
and her smile
transformed my being
into something more light
her warm embrace
even as I could not see her eyes
summer’s warming zepher
as the sweat drips
she is with me
lifting me
from the inside
a mood of unusual size
blowing through my body
as we dance
on the beach
in the snowy woods above Taos
in the warm waters
of Oho Caliente
and she is always here
i forget to see


how each new adventure begins (a poem)


i’d like to tell you that this is my new girlfriend
i’d be jumping the gun a bit
see, we’ve just met
or at least, i think we’ve met
we are still meeting
still searching for touchpoints
and energies that reach beyond both our arms
she’s reaching for me
with the same intentional desire
arrows pointing directly at our hearts
taking the heady overthinking out of the equation

of course
the math does not add up
the days do not equal the days we’ve been connected
an hour can seem like a lifetime
a kiss can feel like a vortex
pulling deep breaths
releasing and relaxing
letting go of old attachments

the universal



she is here – an incantation and poem


[from Making Love To Other Women – poetry]

A few Sunday’s ago I went to a progressive church service in my neighborhood. I love this church. I don’t go often, but it’s a very intellectually driven, chant and spiritual-teaching driven service. I like my brain to be stimulated along with my heart and soul. In a jest, I was asking a friend to go with me, another single man. I said to him, SHE is probably there.

He was baffled at what I meant. I was texting with him. “Who is there?”


“Well, if SHE is let me know if SHE has a younger sister.”

The awareness I was trying to cultivate was this.

Show up where SHE might be. (The SHE you are imagining. — insert HE if you are a woman.) If SHE is there, where you would imagine your type of person to be, then you too need to show up and be there as well. It’s just a matter of time. If you are hiding out, isolating, or burying yourself in your work or your kids activities, you might be missing opportunities, a lot of opportunities to me THEM.

So, on this Sunday in this very beautiful church as the minister began his “talk” my mind unlocked a flood of ideas about the SHE I was looking for. It’s almost a siren song. An incantation, to visualize the ultimate SHE I am projecting into the world.

As the words came, I chose not to control my mind, and I let myself fall into love with the SHE. Sort of a Rumi concept, “the beloved.”

This is my song to the beloved. SHE is here. I just have to make us aware of each other so we can meet and fall in love.


the preamble – notes

surround yourself in places she might be
who do you want to spend time with, what would you be doing right now, together?
how do you spend your time in the sacred currency of you?

minister says, “affirmations are doorways to new experiences of happiness”



+++ part 1 – warm up affirmations +++

she is solid, quiet, contemplative
she is natural, earthly, beautiful
she is touchable and lightly-scented
she is seeking god in her life
she is not afraid to dream and wonderleap
she is snugglable, helpable, rubbable
she glows w/o adornment or makeup
she can stretch and pull and compress
she can sing and play
she is alone
she is here

she knows breathing together as ecstasy
she can express love by holding hands

+++ pause poem+++

note: “was that an affirmation?”

minister says, “with god-like thoughts i bring a god-filled world into my experience.”

+++ part 2 – opening the floodgates +++

she is not afraid to believe in love
she is ready to go
she is willing to travel with me
she is aware of her ultimate power and beauty
she doesn’t need anything from me
she can express her longing w/0 fear
she breaks and cries and repairs
she can accept love even when sad or mad
she knows her disappointments are mostly hers
she is unafraid to ask for her needs and wants
she understands dirt, children, and pets
she can thrive in chaos as well as peaceful quiet
she can be still
she is flexible in body, mind, and spirit
she knows she is here
she may not be looking for me

she calls out the inspirational in me
she understands what joining means
she has sacred practices
she is expressing
she is not tired
she expects the best in everyone
she celebrates simple things easily
she is just out of my frame of view
she is near, she is here
she will not be a projection that I must create
she shows up fully-formed and empowered
she dances when she arises in the morning
she is gentle and kind
she does not call attention to herself
she is unimpressed

+++ pause poem +++

minister says, “i must be in-relationship with my source”

+++ part 3 – release +++

she has a warmth that is infectious
she makes me smile and laugh
she has ways of expressing herself
she is open, she is here
she cannot be captured or tracked
she is random
she is not what she seems
she strips me of my languages and tools
she is not afraid of big ideas
she is an intoxicant and a stimulant
she is self-aware
she comes in many forms
she is focused and fascinated
she is wearing functional shoes
she is an exploratory being
she is a happy camper
she is easy in the silences
she as left to go outside into the sun
she is no longer here
neither am i


here is the spoken word version of this poem: here she is