Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Posts tagged “first love

just press play (a poem)

here we are
moment by moment
there are feelings of joy
exhilaration and madness
when the universe says: go
there is a tendency to press pause
as the feels wash over our bodies
a signal of truth or danger
internal radar scanning the horizon
pushing our pulse up nicely
our eyes sparkle with adventure
seeking the soft landing
the easy target
the vulnerable prey
the source of our affection
has mysteriously arrived
ready and quivering to join up
sync hearts and schedules
when she says yes
the choice will be binary
yes or no

breathe easy
pay close attention to your internal signals
join networks
enter encrypted passwords
show activity
open to the fall and the flight
that comes with elation
as alignments build towards escape velocity
this is your moment
what you’ve been seeking
let go of expectations and preconceptions
ask for the yes to enter fully
into both of your lives
it’s go time
jump out of the plane
into the unknown freefall

let go
be
here
now

just press play

9/16/21

 

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Sunday Means Get Together: Or Get Alone – And Breathe

happy sunday - the off parent

Here’s one I’ve never written before.

This morning I woke up with enthusiasm and a headache. I was longing for connection. Of some sort. Here’s the path I am taking today.

  1. Chatted via Facebook with an old flame. Literally my first high school sweetheart. Who lives at the farthest reaches of the US where Winter is still happening. We imagined making love, and chatted with hot thoughts, more virtual than real. From high school flames.
  2. Tried to arouse myself with random pics and streams. Oh physical connections are so much more rewarding. Got bored with that.
  3. Started to write a song, a poem, and a story at the same time. Got confused.
  4. Reached out on Facebook to the wife of the pastor of the only church I would consider myself a member of, I’m spiritual but not religious. Got the time for the current service, confirmed that her husband was there this morning.
  5. Made a pathetic plea on FB for someone to join me for breakfast. Oh, I hate that, don’t you?
  6. Read some poetry.
  7. Made a decision to go get breakfast tacos and go visit my family at the liberal church next to the big white conservative church, that I call mine.

Imagined telling my friends about this random trajectory and my willingness to launch into the unknown having unsuccessfully connected with anyone within a 1,000 mile radius except the wife of my favorite minister.

Life is exactly where it should be. I am happy. I am hungry. I am starved for connection. And I have all the connection I need.

Sometimes breathing is the best exercise. We (I) get too focused on the doing, going, producing… And forget to stop and pause and appreciate. That’s where I’m headed. But I wanted to give you a little chat and wave before I head out the door, just me and Jack Kerouac’s poetry.

Happy Sunday. Go breathe, together or alone. But go!

Sincerely,

The Off Parent

Resources:

image: sunday means get together, yasin hassan, creative commons usage

+++ bonus

swimming

Oh, so now I’m understanding why I joined the swim team in high school. Three of the front row, in sequence, blew my little high school mind. We were 2nd year boarding students. Wow.