Music is the fuel that gets me up, consoles me when I’m down. So why not collect the divorce recovery songs in one place. Sure thing. I have included the YouTube link if available so you have free access to the music, my friend. Most of these songs are available on the YouTube playlist: Divorce Classics – you can stream them back to back.
The real page is here: Songs of Divorce
See if you can feel the irony of this. I am picking up my kids after school at my former house. And the dogs have gotten into the trash in the kitchen. So what do I do, clean it up? Make it a little more messy? Ignore it, not my problem.
Well, she is nice enough to let me use the house as a pick-up zone. It’s good for the kids. So I do a partial pickup. Coffee grounds and trash off the kitchen floor. Sweep, but not mop.
So we’re waiting 20 minutes for me to take my daughter to Brownies. Cause my ex had a business trip and it IS my day. We hustle up to the playground and there is no one in sight. We drive over to the park and it is completely empty. Turns out they are inside at the playground in the MUD office. We figure this out about 20 minutes into the meeting.
The plan was for my son and I do to a quick grocery run while they were doing girl scouts. Problem was, by the time we got her to the right room, there were only 30 minutes before the meeting would be out. So we couldn’t even get there and back in 30 minutes. So my son and I were left to our own devices. He drew and I fuddled with my Blackberry and wished it had a real browser. And tuned in to all the beautiful women coming to the playground with new offspring. Oh yeah.
So at the same park where I was a Den Leader with my son in Cub Scouts, I was now simply waiting in the park on a beautiful day, looking at beautiful women, and grooving on the pictures my son was drawing.
I guess we could have gone back to the house. It’s HER house now, but it will always be the house. Much of me is still inside.
And I give thanks that my ex is not bitter and angry or she’d have my shit in a storage unit. As it is, I am still looking for a place to live and all of my furniture and most of my clothes still in her house. She’s been boxing and moving some stuff. But lot’s of me still remains. Almost trapped, in her house, until I can find my house.
Sincerely,
The Off Parent
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Before the divorce was even in the picture, my still-wife was crying. I asked her what she was tripping about.
She proceeded to tell me that she would have nothing if I left her. That there wasn’t enough retirement money put away, she didn’t make enough money, my family wouldn’t help her… And if anything happened to me, she would be destitute.
In the moment I did not understand her concern. My absence was not on my radar. So what exactly was she talking about. Of course she would be taken care of. My mom would help provide for the kids. There would be life insurance. She would be fine.
NOW… Of course, perhaps she was saying something else all together. It wasn’t about my demise, it was about my departure. My departure from the family life we had been building for over 10 years. It seriously didn’t compute for me.
Was that blind love, dumb love, or blind faith? What ever it was it was dead wrong.
Sincerely,
The Off Parent
@theoffparent
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So online dating is the way these days. That’s what I hear. It’s a pretty mixed bag in my experience. Here’s something that never fails to get a rise out of me.
“You have 3 new matches today. This could be the day!”
It’s like a pavlovian response… “What if…”
And like many fantasies, my hopes are dashed in the first few seconds after clicking on the link.
It’s not that she’s always unattractive. It’s not that she’s usually on the older side of my range. It’s not that I’m all that set in my definition of what I want. (I think I am appreciative of most types of women.) But it is usually something in the overall package that is an OFF and not an ON.
For some reason, that’s the only type of woman who initiates a match with me, before I make the first move. So that’s the way it is eh? Just like traditional old dating, the guy has to put it out there and the women get to respond with a thumbs up or thumbs down.
Okay, I really am fine with that. I have registered 33 winks TO WOMEN, and received 8 winks FROM WOMEN. And only one resulted in a date, which I then jumped the gun on. Oh well, off to wink and flirt in the online fishing pond. Not holding my breath.
Sincerely,
The Off Parent
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Even Match.com is having a hard time delivering my “daily 5.
I don’t know that it’s because I’m so difficult. Or that my geographic area is so small. (Perhaps I should open up my range to 30 or 50 miles.)
But eHarmony delivered exactly ONE match today. And she was so far off, that I’m not sure what’s wrong with my algorithm.
Here’s the bottom line:
I am not asking for much of a commitment inorder to meet. I’d like her to be uniquely attractive (as opposed to gorgeous). Sort of height-weight proportional. And around my age.
What I’m noticing is women my age (47) tend to look and sound A LOT OLDER. And women within 10 years younger tend to look and sound A LOT YOUNGER. So perhaps I’m not sure what I want. Somewhere in between. I’m okay if she’s younger as long as she has a good bit of her issues worked out and dealt with. And I’m okay if she’s older as long as she doesn’t fall into the “looks like my mom” category.
And then you have to consider the kids.
Of course dating a woman with kids is going to be a long ramp-up relationship. I mean I think mother’s have to protect their families in a more agressive way then men. Cause, frankly, men can be freaks and assholes. And I can see how my strong emotional outpouring freaked both of my two close matches off. I’m learning. And actually, my own reaction and excitements were self-revealing about my own current state of mind. I wasn’t am not ready for a LTR. (long-term relationship) But I am ready for STF. (short-term friends)
I guess re-upping my eHarmony account was a good idea. Cause if I can’t find her, she probably can’t find me either.
Sincerely,
The Off Parent
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