love loving love
[from strange horizons poems]
in this blistering pace of the day, this life
all that is missed or lost or unremarked upon
all the moments we didn’t stop
and pause in prayer of affirmation
what gets lost?
what loves go unfound
unspoken
ungifted
i am certain in my last days
the joys i have celebrated will out balance the dark times
or, i am certain
that given the chance
starting at this very second
that I could begin
to tilt the balance towards
more love poems
towards more love moments
towards love
period
pointing this direction of my life
i can choose my targets
i have opportunities so clear as this
given the choice
given this life, and this pause
given everything i do and everything i’ve yet to do
if i choose with intention
i can aim my arrow
towards a deeper appreciation
of love loving love
and being loved back
01/2015
it’s me and the coffee cup today
[from strange horizons poems]
it is often what i leave out of the picture
is what i really want to tell you about
the images and shapes just behind my screen
the consciousness i call me
filters hard against the dirty messy stuff
a few gems get out
when i’m tired or not paying attention
but i’m letting you know
the images you can almost see
in the photos and selfies
contain the heart of the matter
i’m digging
i’m trying
but i am often afraid
and i shy away from cutting too deep
into my own exposure and isolation
i’m reaching out in this way
but there’s so much left beneath
so much to crack open and share
but if the connection is not secure
if the contact isn’t full-bandwidth
i know
i’ve been there
a lot of the subtleties will be missed
and the message gets muddled
in the words i select
in what i’m willing to try for
i’ve grown a bit weary
of the attempts at binding myself to another
it’s what i live for
it’s what i’m dying for
it’s what i lack
in my constant seeking
for syllables to convey my love
brilliance
intelligence
worthiness
and she’s missed again
by a mile
the target was undeveloped
and my shotgun approach
was taken full force in the face
and i scared another potential
off frame
and again
it’s me and the coffee cup today
11-1-14
in my blue bedroom
[from strange horizons poems]
there is a blue that binds us together
me an d u
a blue so blue
it hurts
my fingers
to t y p e this
just so you know
a blue that reminds me of the time without you
and beds and nights of ocean cool
and a blue so cold
so pure
it felt like i might be dying
with without you
or any thought of you
didn’t exist yet
in my blue bedroom
before u
arrived
3-9-16
alone for the day
[from strange horizons poems]
even the cold here is love
you are as close as bye
maybe sleeping
maybe leading a room of sleepers
maybe i’m dreaming this
you
us
how would i know
what point in time would waking deliver?
no one can translate the french
i don’t need words
only sounds
and this perfect glass of water
to remember
our triumphant
hello
just over a year ago
has the dream continued to rise all this time?
and the love
continued unabated and strong
how can i comprehend
this warmth you have wrapped around me?
and these dreams
made real
2-25-16
i can only tell you how much i love you in two languages
[from strange horizons poems]
it’s not enough
i know this
words don’t contain enough life, love, living…
they are just here
on the page
crying out to be with you
in you
feeling what it feels like to be next to you
i would give this second
and every one after it
to find my way back to your side
at this moment
you are moments away
and still
i can tell something is missing
as if a part of me
is strapped on your back
in your backpack
as you rush up the escalator
and into your day job
meetings
i will hold
this space
this empty joy
alone
until you return
and give me
back the piece
or at least rejoin
my heart
together
with
you
2-25-16
loving you in many distant cities
[from strange horizons poems]
as we rush apart
finding our niche
and comfort
to prepare a kiss
a pressed hand
a longing from across the room
i see
and miss you
immediately
knowing you are mine
here
and just a heartbeat away
and still i crave
your laugh
and sparkle
returning
soon
returning
forever
returning
joy
2-25-16
mvd2.0
[from strange horizons poems]
something about your heart doesn’t make sense
a desire beyond all desires
a part of your soul you don’t understand
but are drawn to
the thrill, the chase, the capture,
the loss, the love, the sadness
it’s all in there at the beginning
and if you spot the one you’re looking for
no amount of distress or baggage
will keep you from
giving it your best shot
communicating freely
loving wildly
being reckless
bold
don’t hold back when the winds of love arrive
the storm approaches and you can lean in
or run with the dust and rain
ours is the way of brave things
kisses like arrows of fate and joy and excess
piercing the veil
of loneliness
hope
and
desire
the poetry of desire has created the maelstrom
a belief in myself
in my power to call in what the universe demands
of lovers
and answering the call
who am i to hesitate
when the time opens up and says forever
i am good to go
perhaps for a year
perhaps for a lifetime
i have only lived this far
i do not know
but i feel
you have awakened the life in me
of potential and possibilities
lying together
side by side
strokes and cuddles
smiles
and groans
as we seek the hand
push back against the night
with laughter
longing
and
full
fill
ment
of
the
we
2-5-16
her surrounding love
[from strange horizons poems]
just above her wrist
there’s a sweetness
that only i know
a place behind her thigh
that i hold on to
and the left neck nibble
drives her to laughter
no matter what mood
might be passing through
i cannot imagine
a more perfect union
flawless in our imperfection
fitting in our wants
reverent in our needs
she keeps me in her pocket
when she leaves
she keeps me wrapped up inside
warm
2-1-16
image: framed, by Ed Illig ©2106, used by permission
more than a love poem
[from strange horizons poems]
a love day
to celebrate the year of changes
growth
kisses
and deep understanding
seeing you again today for the first time
i am reminded how easy you are to adore
that first laugh infected my heart
pulling me out of a slumber
brave and strong
aspiring to stand beside you
true
open
vulnerable
seen
reflecting back
brief moments of joy
and belonging
together
1-15-16
along the beach
[from strange horizons poems]
as her hand entwines with mine
i can see and taste the future joy
as an unending laugh
or ecstatic embrace
even as the sand is coarse beneath my feet
i know the softness of her love
the way she has cracked open my
everything
even things I did not know
have split open in loving her
the salt of her skin
the heat of the sun
still radiating from her chest
as she arcs into me
with
one
clear
yes
all in the clasp of her fingers
the squeeze and tickle
home i feel
beside her
inside
and outside
and along side
her
and her big heart
worn in plain view
with a quirky smile
and sparkling mischievous eyes
she has captured me back
taken some dream
and brought my little boy to life
and she holds tightly
and pulls us along the beach
faster
more joy
more love
more sun
if it feels like too much
at some moment
i pause
she stands steadfast
manifesting all she promises
adoring with intention
to be here
be present
and bask in some mutual
glow
this is everything
this moment
begins with each breath
as we walk together down the beach
once lost and alone
now full and close under the solstice moon
the girl the girl the girl
[from strange horizons poems]
what if the girl arrived
what if the girl the girl the girl arrived
here and now
to let you know you were alive
to give you energy and rushes of blood to the head
and what if
she said
she would never leave
and she meant every word
to the point where you started believing too
and she listened to your poems
smiled
and said nothing
but her eyes burned with the understanding
the romantic expression
captured in her hunger and joyful gaze
even as she’s drifting off to sleep
now, this very now, right beside you
and the tap tap tap
of these words
and this poem
is music within some dream she is weaving
here beside me
and far away
and here, arrived
confirmed
loved
what if the girl has arrived
really arrived
here
she
is
6-15-15
and know i love you
[from strange horizons poems]
though i can’t see now
what i’m supposed to be
alone and happy
i don’t understand
how you’re not with me
was i dreaming
it’s not right with my world
i hope it’s right in yours
without me
it’s not okay with me
may you be okay and strong
without me
i was holding you
when it first revealed
you were leaving
there was no recourse
no rebuilding life
you’d decided – for me too
if i tell you now
that i love you still
would you hold me
now that you have gone
i’m in a better place
loving someone
and i don’t know what
the future holds
i’m rebuilding
if you hear my voice
just ignore the words
and know i love you
song idea: 6-14-15
the hunger
[from strange horizons poems]
in my hungry state i’m more agitated animal than man
lack of food or companionship get me buzzing a bit
as if each young woman is part meal part plaything
i know it’s not right
i can feel when all is not right with my world
and then…
in a flood of torrential proportions
the transformation occurs
in the act and arms and embrace
an alchemical phase change of every cell in my body
from a negative cool charge
i am flipped on
warm, hot, positive
only one thing can burn away the hunger
and the hotter the fire, the hotter the friction
setting electrons, every electron, in motion
reorienting towards due north
win
yes
home
when i am empty i roam the desert like a predator
full i become more kitten than killer
and in the seconds and minutes that follow the feast
a new set-point can be established
an imprint of what “really good” feels like
again
at last
finally
even just for now
enough
full-joy mode
1-20-15
image: headless lovers, ludo, creative commons usage
entwine and twirl
from strange horizons poems]
i want to fill your mouth with words
and your mind and blood with dangerous thoughts
passion run amok, the burning desire to rub again
into the feeling, the heat, the joy
a love poem that echos your name
will be what wakes you up every morning
in your arms i am powerless to stop the flood
the song, the symphony, the dreams
the now and here are alight with our laughter
and i only have to dip my hand in the flowing stream
of us
and the poems write themselves
this is what *we* feels like
an unhenging of doubht
an upending of sorrow
and the burning energy
at 3am
calling us to entwine and twirl
5-23-15
image: snowing, hernan pinera, creative commons usage
in her little toe i find an expression of love
[from strange horizons poems]
what if what if what if
the hardest part about this whole thing
this whole world wide living loving thing
is actually finding someone to love
someone to really pour yourself into
a flexible person who bends when rough patches arrive
comes at problems with joy and energy
to be joined in
not always understood or reasoned out
but just joined
and what if what if what if she is here
and this quest has been fulfilled in this moment
what then
what joy could burst forth
what symphony awaits
as we warm up our instruments
tune and retune
stretch and press into the heart
and then drop it all
to be together
close
skin
pause
repeat
v 2 m
a grasp at a dream
[from strange horizons poems]
some amazing thing is happening
i believe love would be the name
for what is happening
love is too early
too soon
but when, if, love
then who’s to say
what’s soon or what’s
magnificent
an easy
flight
from here
to her
an
infinite step
towards a star
a grasp
at a dream
dreaming
us
2-6-15
image: night blossoms and shooting star festival, izu navi, creative commons usage
virtual check-in
[from strange horizons poems]
the ongoing love poem
as a string of text messages
just to say
hello
you remind me of love
i’ll remember to let you know
each time
(well, not each time)
i’ll let you know frequently
(not disturbingly so)
that you are close
even when you are at a distance
that you remain here
and
i will jiggle your phone
if you’ll indulge me
and when again
we touch hands
instead of digits
when at last
this digital foreplay
has played out
then
i will
again
show
my
true colors
1-5-15
image: reach out and kiss someone, rich frollini, creative commons usage
what if i
[from strange horizons poems]
a touch
stretch
creaking open
this dusty
space of
alone
me
venture
towards
joy
you
juiced
kissing
hands
embark
this time
arrives
now
for
some mystery
to
take hold
fearless
open
joy
becomes
life
worth
exclaiming
1-28-15
image: she fights, melania brescia, creative commons usage
she says yes
[from strange horizons poems]
and when she says yes
opens
and pleases at the touch
laughs
remains calm in the middle of the fire
when she arrives
with flexible thinking
mind
body
and she says yes the second time
enough to make you imagine
you’ve heard her correctly
she might
have
arrived
just at the right moment
in time
to answer
one
more time
yes
1-24-15
just imagine
[from strange horizons poems]
just imagine for a moment
that i have offered maps
stratagems
keys to my heart
all across the internet
i have simply written the instruction manual
for myself
imagine a woman
smart, single, desirous
coming across this tangle of tantalizing verbiage
sketches out an overlay
puts her plan into action
swiftly establishes contact
and mutual attraction
adding intellect and a racy pair of legs
she would have the entire plan
pre-wired for success
all that would be required
would be that spark
some flash of brilliance
and she had the idea for that as well
imagine the mutual surprise
when her arrival sets off a jolly chain of events
a delicious amount of banter and carrying on
along with a touch of honest
emotional
sharing
click
like that it’s a match
it’s a hit
there’s a piercing spotlight
illuminating the road ahead
no longer apart
but some new connected path
and the laughter
on both sides of the bed
at all times of day
rings in the new year
with a satisfying
“yes”
1-19-15
image: running, yoann jezequel, creative commons usage
all around me are smiles
[from strange horizons poems]
all around me are smiles
and youth-beauty-organic-produce
all around me are potentials
but all points of contact are
more like flurries of snow outside
like the young boy who sits on the down escalator
only to jump up and run back to the top
over and over
until somebody gets hurt
but that didn’t happen
neither did she
1-16-15
the distance
[from strange horizons poems]
the distance between her thigh and my finger
tonight, feels unmanageable
other nights i’m prepared to stretch forever
not tonight
something is off
the signal is being lost in the noise
i can’t imagine her
from this place
i want to
give
in
1-15-15
dialing back desire
[from strange horizons poems]
let’s say the universe works in mysterious ways
and imagining that
what if a woman showed up
casually
asked to play tennis
not an ordinary woman
not just anyone
a friend
and let’s also imagine
the universe in her mystery
is also capable of delivering you
right at the moment you are ready
whether you think so or not
and just as you’ve said
pause
opt-out
the woman stands up
with a beautiful smile
and some historical knowledge
that could serve as a catalyst
a familiarity
even when whole lifetimes have happened
between your last greeting
so even before the first ball is struck
or skirt worn
there’s a flight of fantasy
a scenario of seduction
and being seduced
because
there is no waiting
no lines
and no other moment
like this one
what if
she’s showed up
because
the universe has finally spun a complete cycle
and brought you back to the restart
try again
listen, look, observe
what if there’s nothing
just an acquaintance
and some new fuzzy yellow balls
that is more than enough
just
the idea
has
potency
i am hopeful
even when letting go
this is no different
this is just a turn of events
a series of events
that hasn’t happened yet
release
there’s no hurry
even if she is the one
if she is
and
she’s here
why
rush
why
hurry through
this
magic
1-7-15
image: spent tennis shoes of the author, cc 2014, creative commons usage
