Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Thanks for the Jetpack, Where’s the Fuel?

diversions for divorcing parents

WARNING: In 5 minutes you are going out the door of this plane-in-flight whether you want to or not. Here’s your divorce supply list:

  • 1 Used Jetpack (no instructions)
  • Craigslist (for rent) pages
  • Half-priced books “divorce” section
  • Coffee shops and restaurants for internet access (ah, the web)
  • An appointment with a divorce counselor
  • An appointment with a divorce finance counselor
  • An appointment with a lawyer
  • What you can pack in a few bags

At least now you know what’s going on. Don’t panic. You can make it through this. The first step, taken willingly or with a push, is the hardest. And after awhile even free fall won’t be so terrifying.

The first problem is, you have a jet pack and not a parachute. Here are some ideas about how to get yours started and even potential sources for fuel.

  • Journal about what’s happening – you don’t have to start a blog, just begin putting down the words, in writing, not in your head
  • Get some exercise – even a walk is better than no walk. The internet and research will still be there when you get back. I know you don’t want to.
  • Remember the wider world of life – take a trip into nature, swimming, find ways to help others
  • Find a tribe or two to hang with – you’re not alone in this loss and disorientation, find a group to chat with, a recovery group to heal your issues, go be with friends even if you don’t really want to be seen in your current state (they won’t mind)
  • Discover computer games again (you may find gaming as a way to reconnect or stay connected with your kids. Caveat: don’t over do it with escaping in to computer games, make sure you’re getting your work and other healthy things done too.)
  • Uncover the world of the opposite sex again – i’m not advocating porn or strip clubs or erotica, but I am saying it could help lessen some of the shock (caveat: from Folding My Desire, “I slept and stayed up late cuddling with the internet. Computers and videos make terrible lovers.”
  • Sleep well (if you are having a hard time sleeping get some help, drink less caffeine, in sleep so much of our brain repairs from the stress of the day. And you are in major stress.)
  • Eat as well as you can (Opt for the salad over the burger when it’s feasable. Sure, comfort foods are okay, just watch the intake so the waist doesn’t balloon up)

I know that’s not much to hang on to as you are edged towards the abyss. But you have to trust that it’s enough. You’re gonna make it back to Earth.

Take a deep breath and count to ten.

Jump.

Sincerely,

The Off Parent
@theoffparent

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* image from Jetpack Joyride (iPhone app)

 

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3 Responses

  1. And how! Shit it’s hard!

    April 17, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    • Yep, Cuckoo… IT IS HARD. But we can do it.

      September 13, 2013 at 9:42 am

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