Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

the most beautiful girl in the world

pretty woman - poem[from Misconfigurations of Love – poetry]

i once saw the most beautiful girl in the world
i stood beside her and talked to her
she was unafraid

i spent time with the most beautiful girl in the world
and i realised what got her there
was not something that was going to make me love her
she was centered and alert
but she was a bit too centered and alert

doors would be opened
corners would be cut
you could see in her style
that she was on guard
something was expected

the most beautiful girl in the world
actually became a bit boring after a while
she never paid for gas
she never offered her services
she wanted to be sure that no unspoken expectations would be met

i spent some time with the most beautiful girl in the world
and noticed she was not all that
her beauty was definitely more than skin deep
she was beauty through and through
and i was enamoured

but i was not compelled to fall in love
there was a barrier that she enforced
she wanted something
love was not it

i saw the most beautiful girl in the world the other day
she was still beautiful
she was unaware of my presence
and in that moment I could see what was wrong
she was pained
she was hiding
she was alone

i left her there without disturbing her peace
the reverie i felt upon meeting her was spent
she did not want any further assistance
she did not need anything else

i left her in the aisle of the organic food store
looking like a beautiful and exotic bird
there are not many women with her dangerous looks
and haunting charm
and
something
missing

i felt a moment of desire for her
the most beautiful girl in the world
had to be clear
this was a business deal
there would be no exchange of affection
and she held me there at arms length
before the fantasy had a chance to emerge
she let it be known she was not interested
she would take my offer
she would offer nothing in return

for a moment, with the most beautiful girl in the world
that was enough
being next to her was refreshing
i would do anything to help her

for a moment, the most beautiful girl in the world was near by
and she was within reach and within earshot
but i was told not to sing
i was given the rules
before a song was even imagined

it must be hard being the most beautiful girl in the world
of course the demands on her and desires of others are enormous
she had to defend herself
even before accepting my friendship
she had to kill the buzz
obviously it was my buzz she killed
she had learned how not to feel
she was suffering some deep inner pain
she was still beautiful, so beautiful
i could never understand that pain

she’s still around
from time to time i see her
still beautiful
still haunting and glowing in smiles and beauty
and something about her eyes
that takes me beyond myself

it must be hard
being so beautiful
in a world that feeds on beauty – that eats pretty young women
she must feel threatened
being so beautiful
is like being naked all the time
and there was no way for me to step close
without triggering the alarm
best not to even get started
with the most beautiful girl in the world
best not to even try

6-12-13

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