Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

she is silenced in my back pocket

iphone back pocket

[from The Black Pages - poetry]

she means nothing
now
she has taken everything
and given me nothing
except my silence
and wings and self
so i fly now without
a copilot
but i do still fly
and she is silenced in my back pocket

because I cannot stand her
beauty and sadness
and her voice
provides images and reflections
of loss
and new silences
depths i’ve never explored
near death
crashes
like sunken treasures
of my soul
she is silenced in my back pocket

as she has chosen
someone else’s hand
but she is always
she is forever
she means nothing
in little details
of who i am yet to become
what will fill the space
left from her leaving
i am throwing things out now
recycling books, memories, hurts
i am looking for perfection
again
this time

she gave me the heir
and the dowry
and each drop of blood
is mixed with her
and she will never leave
she is already gone
a call i can no longer take
a request
i am not ready to entertain
her
again

just this moment
she can be silenced
just for this moment
i return to peace
her buzzing
stops and dings
a siren
reminder
request
emergency that can wait

january 2013

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