Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Oh First Date Closure, What Are You Saying?

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Shall we do this again? First date confusion

Let’s see if I can capture this situation. A first date with an online dating connection. From my perspective things go swimmingly well. We share a bottle of wine, a wood-fired pizza and lots of great talk. She’s very attractive and getting more so as the evening progresses. And we laugh as they are putting the chairs up around us. “I guess it’s time to go.”

I walk her to her car. I have that memory of not kissing the more recent date when she was expecting it. But this doesn’t seem like that kind of moment. We get to her car, hug, and as I’m walking off she says, “I really really had a good time, let’s do it again, have a good weekend.”

It’s this moment you’d like to freeze and examine for a moment. 1. What did you mean? Did you really have a good time or are you being nice? 2. Let’s do it again. Are you saying you’d like a second date? 3. Have a good weekend. It’s Wednesday, are you saying you’re booked for the weekend already, or just making pleasant conversation?

I’m sure it’s an odd moment on the woman’s side as well. I imagine an inner conversation like, “Okay, so let him down easy, thank him, leave with an encouragement…”

But what’s the next step?

In my case, last night, I texted her when I got home. “Had a great time, would love to see you again, do you have plans Friday or Saturday night?”



And it’s not like there were major sparks or anything. And I noticed myself thinking, “Wow, she’s really cute, happy, and funny.” I was noticing my casual nod to seeing her again and seeing where it leads us.

She was funny. Touchy. Affectionate. She loves her job. She works with kids. She’s obviously very positive.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told her about Ferris Beuller’s Divorce.

Update: Yay, she responded. Sunday night we’re on again. (in case you’re following along. –grin–)


The Off Parent

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