this is not about her

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[from a second wave – poetry]

in the brilliant purple top
her eyes are tired but happy
dreamy almost, as she contemplates
her coffee
her boyfriend
not me
noise canceling headphones
are piping in songs of loneliness
i’m not here for her
nor she for me
but there she is
with him between us
and a longing of memories
of a girl
once mine
with eyes that watered
with joy more than sadness
but that’s long ago
i’m not interested in that
repeating old poisons
and women who can’t
don’t know how
or won’t
dive down deep
to find the heart
something about her
the woman in purple
this morning
trips me up
gives me pause and flutter
even as her man is blocking my view
because it’s not about them at all
or the woman from long ago
it’s about me
this bottomless cup of coffee
and emptiness on a winter morning