Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

a love poem so big

off-girlrace

[from the collection nyc m]

my hand
is stronger resting against the small of your back
my vision
brighter because of your warmth and illumination
this ease is not effortless
but won at the failure of many other paths and loves
what joy
your joy ignites
and smiles that smiles reveal

if i roll back the videotape
examine evidence of love in my life
even one year ago
my heart was pouring out love poems
my broadcasting network was crackling with energy
all theoretical
all imaginary, hoped for, aspirational vapors
i simply willed you into existence
by the force of my desire

a love poem so big
so open and honest
that you could not help but fall for me
the moment the last syllables crossed your lips

no sequence of words
no love poem divine
is capable of capturing the transformation you have brought
though i might try
over and over
to exclaim

love love love

is a word that pales in my mouth when i try to express myself
the ashes of my former lives are scattered seaward and wide
the nights of soul’s dark, no longer faced alone
and this very second
i know nothing
and everything
at once

and it began with a kiss from you
a signal
an opening
a fire
still growing in heat and light

this is what i mean but can’t say
with words
today
or tomorrow
or ever

7-12-15

image: race for a lifetime
, creative commons usage

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