temper the joy
[from a second wave – poetry]
with potentially dangerous epiphanies
i learned to temper the joy
hide the enthusiasms
mistrust the high
i could not contain
i tried many strategies
tell no one
tell selected few
tell my therapist
none worked very well
epiphanies may be between you and god
see… that right there is the problem
saying stuff like that
gets you in time out
and adult time out is much worse
then kid time out
so for now…
this time…
this joy
moment
bliss
i’ll keep between me
and
my
…
you fill in that blank for yourself
no, it’s okay, i’m good
8-2-14
image: the final cut, robb north, creative commons usage
ready for the yes
[from a second wave – poetry]
i fall too easily
into the curls
of the woman in the green dress
a shape and form of attractive proportions
and i would say yes
to whatever she suggested
before she’s even had a chance to speak
thus is the romantic
and the poet
captivated by beauty
driven by desires
unspoken yet captured
in this random scattering of letters
i amuse myself
with this whimsical passion
and flights of fancy towards bright ringlets
usually i’m drawn to darker locks
but still the yearning is real
i am the poet of longing
of imagining my lover into existence
if that was how it worked
but i don’t need to capture her
only this song this prayer this appreciation
i don’t need to smell her perfume
or hear the sound of her voice
talking about things i might find less alluring
and there she is
whole, complete, perfect
and distant
this is not what i want
i want close skin
whispered passions
raucous laughter
i want to be loved back
to be fascinated by the curve of an ankle
the tease of a toe peering out of a sandal
but not the promise
not the imagination of her
i am ready for her
the woman
the yes
the
“what’s next”
7-14-14
image: random girls, thomas xu, creative commons usage
i knew
[from The Black Pages – poetry]
one night, I was confused
i had a moment when
i thought that you were leaving
imagined you were gone
and when I felt afraid
i told you how i loved you
you looked at me so strange
that’s when I knew,
i knew
that is was true
that you were already gone
that it was you
and you were already gone
so now I count my blessings
i wonder what it’s for
so many broken angels
and other closing doors
but i knew
that is was true
that you were already gone
that it was you
and you were already gone
any time you looked distant
were you thinking of the other side
and the moment you decided
to change both our lives…
there’s no repair between us
there’s nothing left to fight
i’ve fallen in the darkness
and you’ve left in the night
and i knew
4-28-14
image: goodbye for awhile, Merra Marie, creative commons usage
modern love notes
[from Making Love To Other Women – poetry]
leaving just enough silence between us
wondering what you’re doing, thinking, feeling
i hold my tongue and text and messages of love
this can be nothing more than my own reflection
seeking a replacement, and shelter, and song
surely love does not ignite with such simplicity
a puppy love, a projection, a trajectory of my own imagination
still
i seek messages in the clouds and stars at night
and i listen on all channels
erasing and deleting
words
of
love
and
longing
because it is too soon
and you are busy, and beautiful, and pleasurable
to all around you
and when I am
given the chance
i will breathe you in
i will hesitate just a little
i will tease back at the growing heat
and
i
will
know
again
5-20-13
