Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Posts tagged “poems of desire

the hunger

Screen Shot 2015-05-25 at 3.04.14 PM

[from strange horizons poems]

in my hungry state i’m more agitated animal than man
lack of food or companionship get me buzzing a bit
as if each young woman is part meal part plaything
i know it’s not right
i can feel when all is not right with my world

and then…

in a flood of torrential proportions
the transformation occurs
in the act and arms and embrace
an alchemical phase change of every cell in my body
from a negative cool charge
i am flipped on
warm, hot, positive

only one thing can burn away the hunger
and the hotter the fire, the hotter the friction
setting electrons, every electron, in motion
reorienting towards due north
win
yes
home

when i am empty i roam the desert like a predator
full i become more kitten than killer
and in the seconds and minutes that follow the feast
a new set-point can be established
an imprint of what “really good” feels like
again

at last
finally
even just for now
enough
full-joy mode

1-20-15

image: headless lovers, ludo, creative commons usage


a grasp at a dream

OFF-shootingstar

[from strange horizons poems]

some amazing thing is happening
i believe love would be the name
for what is happening
love is too early
too soon
but when, if, love
then who’s to say
what’s soon or what’s
magnificent
an easy
flight
from here
to her
an
infinite step
towards a star
a grasp
at a dream
dreaming
us

2-6-15

image: night blossoms and shooting star festival, izu navi, creative commons usage


virtual check-in

OFF-virtualkisses[from strange horizons poems]

the ongoing love poem
as a string of text messages
just to say
hello
you remind me of love
i’ll remember to let you know
each time
(well, not each time)
i’ll let you know frequently
(not disturbingly so)
that you are close
even when you are at a distance
that you remain here
and
i will jiggle your phone
if you’ll indulge me
and when again
we touch hands
instead of digits
when at last
this digital foreplay
has played out
then
i will

again

show
my
true colors

1-5-15

image: reach out and kiss someone, rich frollini, creative commons usage


if you are her

OFF-handinwater

let’s say
for example
that i’ve written
i want to pour my love into a lover
i’m not speaking metaphorically here
i’m talking about
time
effort
joy
action

i electrify with the sound of you
and carbonate with imagined smiles
if you can contain all this
stand in the flame
if love poems don’t terrify
and delusions of grandeur
are also in your dna
i wonder
if we’ve found something

fluid and open
skipping along the flight path
towards
what we cannot yet know
what we dare to dream about
yet leave unspoken

let’s just imagine that i’ve spoken
some of it
i know not of what i speak
i’m imagining
fantasizing
but if you are you
and here is now
let me set alight the maps
and look into the fog of the future
fearless and emboldened
grabbing your hand
racing the rain away
that has followed so many attempts

if you are
her
here
and ready

2-4-15

image: hand in water, walt stoneburner, creative commons usage


just imagine

off-runners

[from strange horizons poems]

just imagine for a moment
that i have offered maps
stratagems
keys to my heart
all across the internet
i have simply written the instruction manual
for myself

imagine a woman
smart, single, desirous
coming across this tangle of tantalizing verbiage
sketches out an overlay
puts her plan into action
swiftly establishes contact
and mutual attraction
adding intellect and a racy pair of legs

she would have the entire plan
pre-wired for success
all that would be required
would be that spark
some flash of brilliance
and she had the idea for that as well

imagine the mutual surprise
when her arrival sets off a jolly chain of events
a delicious amount of banter and carrying on
along with a touch of honest
emotional
sharing

click
like that it’s a match
it’s a hit
there’s a piercing spotlight
illuminating the road ahead
no longer apart
but some new connected path
and the laughter
on both sides of the bed
at all times of day
rings in the new year
with a satisfying
“yes”

1-19-15

image: running, yoann jezequel, creative commons usage


all around me are smiles

off-rowingteam

[from strange horizons poems]

all around me are smiles
and youth-beauty-organic-produce
all around me are potentials
but all points of contact are
more like flurries of snow outside
like the young boy who sits on the down escalator
only to jump up and run back to the top
over and over
until somebody gets hurt
but that didn’t happen
neither did she

1-16-15


the distance

thigh[from strange horizons poems]

the distance between her thigh and my finger
tonight, feels unmanageable
other nights i’m prepared to stretch forever
not tonight
something is off
the signal is being lost in the noise
i can’t imagine her
from this place
i want to
give
in

1-15-15


somewhere she’s laughing

mecca-2014-250

[from strange horizons poems]

i can’t imagine what she looks like
but i see her every day
her smell and smiles are everywhere
i can’t imagine what she feels like
my memory fades and ebbs
with time i hope to take hold
of someone with plans
someone with dreams and sparks
someone i can cheer on
and adore
i can’t imagine where she is tonight
but i’m writing her into existence
right now
where ever she might be
tonight

1-7-15

image: winter afternoon walk, cc 2015 the author, creative commons usage


love will find us

OFF-wfm

[from strange horizons poems]

like a vapor trail
today
i knew she was close
not here
but i felt her
in the chocolate aisle
and near the greek yoghurt
contemplating ph balance
and organic yoga wear

she shops alone
at whole foods market
of course she does
the intersections here
of everything we eat
drink and breath
the potently scented oils
the luffa sponges
and honey lip balm

and how will i time our arrival
or know if she’s vegetarian
or just paleo
does she bring her own bags
that last question was
silly
of course she has bags
that she will fill
with damp kale
and grass-fed butter

i’ve been watching
as couples, families, kids
bums, yoginis, hipsters
move in and out
watching their slow
descent from above
but so far i have been distracted
my research slightly amiss
until today
after i dropped off my daughter
and came here
to watch

watching is not fulfilling
but i have learned
more than you might think
about couples that fit
and others in transition
but most people are happy here
weaving through the healthy food
seeing other health minded folks
with money and time for fancy fruits
and bubble baths
made from dead sea salts

if it were up to me
she would’ve been seeking a pinot
just now
as our eyes crossed
smiled and asked
is there one you prefer

yes

12-28-14

image: wfm 2014, cc the author, creative commons usage


calling all lovers

secretkiss

[from strange horizons poems]

doesn’t your soul love to travel
isn’t your heart ready to soar
and in these moments when you are grounded
can’t you still taste the salt
remember the heat
and anticipation of a kiss
memory of the burning
and skin worn glow

12-27-14

image: secret kiss, kristen, creative commons usage


physics between us

off-physics

[from strange horizons poems]

i’m keeping an eye out
and ear to the ground
putting my love on the air
crafting words and notes
running harder
eating less
hoping bigger than ever
and yet…

somewhere out there
she is feeling deeply
smiling happily in spite of it all
imagining romance will eventually return
hoping for the best
being mindful of her body and spirit
in a content place

like a positive and negative electron
we are already bound in our spiral
while our trajectories are unknown
their eventual intersection
is a matter of physical law
and time
plus energy

there is no waiting
there is action and motion
momentum and improvements
aspirations and accomplishments
joy and the awareness
of another’s love

it could be close
it could be far
the eventuality is certain
the anticipation is delicious
if i can remember
to strive less
enjoy more
and be
happy
alone

12-18-14

image: particle physics, kevin dooley, creative commons usage


dateless

off-dark

[from strange horizons poems]

i’m struggling in the dark again
striving against feeling alone
and failing
it’s
a long night ahead
and how your ear should be curled about
and whispered into
sweet poems
and
later
a kiss

12-17-14

image: dark, ekaterina nosenko (katia), creative commons usage


dark falling

off-anticipation

[from strange horizons poems]

i fell into the black hair of a woman today
and i couldn’t get back out
i followed her for a bit
but as she got into her car to leave
i knew i was in trouble

it’s not working
whatever i’m doing
the winter chill has arrived
and passed right through my bones
and the bed is colder and wider
than i can ever remember it being

she’s moved on
in some unknown direction
towards her loved ones and family
it’s the family time of year
and i’m stuck in the dark
whistling to keep myself company
wishing i knew some secret
for calling in a lover
or even a snuggle bunny

of course
i’ve sworen off the pursuit
of course i have
it’s easy
don’t feel
don’t think about it
eat well
see movies
work hard
and forget about the lump below the breastbone

there’s no time like the future
when she arrives
i’ll have to contain my enthusiasm
so as not to scare her right back on her way

it’s been a while
you see
not as long as i has been before
but long enough
that i’m beginning to thrash
and fall
into passing shiny lengths of hair
passing by
she could’ve been 100 years old
i only saw the sway and shimmer
of the deep place
where i curled up
in the seconds as she passed by

i can still feel my hands and feet
so i know i’m still alive
this is no dream
and i am still wanting
dark
seeping
feelings
and smells
of
a
woman

12-15-14

image: lonely places #3 – anticipation, leda carter, creative commons usage


shooting arrows at the moon

off-arrowsatthemoon

[from strange horizons poems]

i have work to do
and i’m thinking about women again
the absence of them, actually
in my life
in the romantic sense
i’ve got sister, daughter, niece, and mom
and not a single bosom to lay my head
this time of year
it’s a problem
or at least a hardship
of course, it is no different than last year
except i’d just come off a deep jag
with a beautiful young mom
who had a penchant for silences
and filling them with music videos
fancy meals and drugs
i couldn’t sustain
the celebration
long enough to understand or feel
how our connection might evolve
into a higher…
wait!
a more solid…
no!
it wasn’t about that
let’s be honest
she was 11 years younger
she was beautiful
she was willing
is there any further explanation needed
still
i would do with her comfort today
tonight, rather
and yet, i wait and hunger
with intention
it *is* the evolution i’m seeking
a transformation of some sort
of me
of my trajectory
and flights of fancy
my arrow is aimed at the moon
and i will settle for nothing less
than overwhelming joy

12-14-14

image: goldion moon, johnathan leung, creative commons usage


unanswered letters

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 9.45.22 PM[from strange horizons poems]

can a woman love as deeply as i imagine
do poetic phrases wash around someone else’s pretty head
can i be matched
will the song i’m spinning
be heard
answered
kissed back

as the vapor trails of my last lover
dissipate and dissolve
i forget
how good i can feel
smells and smiles
and moments
together
parting
missing another person
again

i seek
because i
feel
i call
because i hunger
for
her

12-10-14


i am i

iami-jmac[from strange horizons poems]

i don’t think i have made my case very well
either that or i’m not who i think i am
maybe a little of both
maybe you can’t see me
the me i am becoming
that’s the trick
we see who we want each other to be
we imagine who we’d like to be close to
and we just don’t know
from a distance we see
eyes
smiles
hair
figure
but nothing about the inside
unless you can look for that with your heart
i think i sense a person’s energy
their joy is either ON or OFF
mixed states are too ambiguous
i know who i am
i know what i’m putting out
but
i learn all the time
that i have a very limited understanding
of who i present myself as
what i’m putting out to the world in my mind
is different to what people (women) are receiving
maybe i think too much
maybe i talk too much
one thing i know
i think too much
so
today
release and relax
i am
i
alone
happy
transmitting on all channels
joy

12-10-14

image: the author performing in dec. 2014


imaginary you

off-suenodeluz[from a second wave – poetry]

word word word and more words
ricochet around my mind
until sleep becomes an aspiration
of course it is you i reach for
with line and letter
of multiplying
romance
and hopeful promise
of imaginary you

11-26-14

image: sueño de luz, jesus solana, creative commons usage


in the flames of future lovers

OFF-girlonfire[from a second wave – poetry]

i want a dangerous woman
attitude to spare
swagger to match mine
type-a

wait.

is that part of the problem
am i addicted to adrenal acceleration
are the dangerous curves i wish for
part of my crash and burn routine

wait.

something sedate
wholesome
adoring
less driven
less ferarri

wait.

in the moments we do have left
i want to spark and burn
bonfires to old vanities
offerings to gods lesser known
pagan and sweaty

wait.

wait.

go

11-21-14

image: g-golden girl, kamillia, oliveira, creative common usage


how do we lose touch

OFF-random-winter-wfm[from a second wave – poetry]

in the boots and scarves of other women
i begin to feel hopeful and lost at the same time
the distance between me and another human
sometimes appears unmanageable
and she too perhaps his feeling the call of fires
and the smell of winter arriving
and warm beds that should be shared
but are not
so i wander organic food stores
smiling and seeking
or today, giving it a rest
and still she is everywhere around me
and i hold onto the hope
the promise in a love poem
of a night
a morning
a breakfast together afterwards

11-18-14


a momentary venus

OFF-galaxy-love

[from a second wave – poetry]

and her smile was beautiful as she waited in the restaurant
i was happy to see her, she wasn’t waiting for me
and in my release, my letting go of the pursuit in general
i could see her for herself and not a target
young, pretty, eager, poised on the edge of the bench
i would like to have someone waiting with such joy
but it is the season of solitude and restructuring dreams
i heard her laugh, the most happy laugh in the place
from across the room i took note of her still
just appreciating her joy, her radiant eyes
and the way she stay focused on her friend
who had arrived moments after me
a woman, another young woman, another joyous greeting
i too was happy and attentive
and a little transfixed
but it was a longing for something else
some other smile and joy of my own
and my migas arrived and the water was tasteless
but i didn’t need any more coffee on this cold morning
i needed an inspiration
a touch
a
woman

11-16-14


sounding in the cold

OFF-watergirl[from a second wave – poetry]

how could you not hear my call
and the passion i pour out nightly
how long will it take for you to arrive
the winter has come again
snows are not far behind
and i dread the bone dead cold
the ache i know will come
in the night, without you

11-12-14

image: caitlin in the mushroom, dave gingrich, creative commons usage


halfway home

streaming-poem-fragment

[from a second wave – poetry]

word after word word word
letter shapes textures and
sound sound sound
and you here
and you not here
and you
streaming stream of consciousness
of prayer song or song
that sing sings through my veins
at the mind map a have drawn of you
of the yes/no/maybe we are becoming
and the pause
at wait
and release
expectations and exhalations
and meeting you
halfway there
halfway house
half the way home

10-24-14

 


glistening

OFF-ocean-poem

[from a second wave – poetry]

the sound of you
the feel, touch, taste
in my imagination
we are floating together
in the ocean
sun, sand, waves
that coursing sound
in our ears
and hearts
i hear your echoes
even from this distance
even before we’ve met
i hear you
in here
(touches chest)
and sometime
nearby
i will touch yours
and listen for
resonance
of joy

10-22-14

image: ocean spirit, philip male, creative commons usage


permanent word loss

OFF-singer[from a second wave – poetry]

yet another love poem
pay little or no attention to the details
drop it, delete it
forget that i’m writing to you
as i have gotten further removed
i have begun speaking in poetry
i’m sorry
it’s like an illness
this affliction of dropping words
cutting away any story
and looking for clues
in letters and sounds
i just like the way you feel
and i’m sort of waiting
for someone just like you
the you that i imagine
and write sonnets to
in hopes that some translation
is going to gain purchase
somewhere in the labyrinth of you
and light up some resonant response
like a call and answer
if you don’t comprehend
please don’t worry
let everything go

10-20-14

image: musical chairs, garrett coakley,creative commons usage