Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

sera sera sera

devastating beauty - sera - a poem

[from Misconfigurations of Love – poetry]

devastating beauty
of dark and quixotic myth
an endless stream of black night, all stars
deep scent and dampness
any whispers or words
are lost in the soundless awe
words no match for the image
the eye
the lip
a soft and sharp neck
uncovered yet colorless
unmasked
she penetrates my
my
she takes my
my
she is
i’ve lost all
she
cannot imagine
who i think she might be
she is a distant shimmer of light
a dark vortex of mysterious imagination
she is mine
and nothing
and beautiful
and elsewhere
she calls forth a greatness
a striving and chivalrous heart
she
is
not
what she appears to be
beauty caught for a second
in a moment of magic
some distant fires
must warm her gaze
and bring redness and smiles
imagining her laugh
but she is not
she cannot be
she mustn’t ever
this isn’t about her
of course
it is about her hair
her magic
and the fear it conjures
if one so beautiful
exists
by digital frame
is it
conceivable that her inner light
could also radiate with
this
beauty

is the pain from a knowing or unknowing
the tearing of lost hopes
memories and victories
of battles and mountains of youth

there is a chasm between, below, and ahead
i am not seeking
but praying
to a god i don’t pretend to understand
a god who delights in this raw
unfiltered potency
and perhaps in my faint song
of praise

i am praying
and searching for letters
to weave a tapestry or net
of such strength and brilliance
but i pause now
knowing the light is an illusion
the trick
my own

she
my she
is nothing like her

what i have lost
is not returning
what i have yet to discover
still a siren’s song of sorts
still a calling to the rocks
to the old gods
to sacrifices
and
shields of gold
fires
blood
heroes and honor and
and this
image calls an entire fleet
in my heart
this older, slower heart
still red with desire
simmering with incantations
aspirations
to

love

love fully

love unlimited by age or time or reality

love

just

love

god
she is god
i am an acolyte
and i sing

10-16-13

image from: The Tale of Sera Leigh

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