Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

Flight 7, Bound for Destinations Unknown, Grounded

a flight of wine I guess it’s easy to be hopeful. It’s easy to look at an online dating profile and accept an introduction from a woman and not look very closely at her. I mean, look at her, to see her.

Tonight, for some lonely reason, the only excuse I can figure out, I met a “drive by” at a nearby wine bar. I was sadly disappointed when I noticed her from 30 feet away. I guess you could say the chemistry was off from a mile away.

Well, then I get back home and I open Match.com and try to compare notes, and there it is, right there. Easy to see. If I’d been paying attention. Picture #1 was a clue. Picture #3, a wtf was I thinking?

So my favorite flight of wine, the #7, and $50 bucks later, I’m no worse for wear. Get this, we didn’t even finish the wine. I guess even she felt it, what was the point. The energy miss-match was epic.

My call to action was not strong enough, I guess. This woman was no badass. She was a… Okay, I was about to get snarky, and that’s not the point. This date was about me. Something I was looking for. And then some pattern in me that allowed me to gloss over the obvious signs in her profile in hopes of … What? Seriously? No.

Okay, so if I knew from the start it was a non-starter, why did I ask her out?

Clear the palette from yesterday? Make myself feel like the process was still ongoing and hopeful?

I’m not sure. I had plans to go see a musician I know and love. Alone. No problem. But this woman contacted me. She whispered the magic phrase, “English major,” and boom my fantastical mind was off and running. AND cluelessly blinded. Not one thing she said after that was witty, or creative. Not one thing said BADASS other than the fact that she picked me, and she was not hideous. [With one beautiful exception, all of the women who have reached out to me from online dating sites have been more mature. As in, they looked a lot older than me.]

Well, I wonder what the experience is on the other side of the fence for women my age. Are the men in my category mostly rich and dark and thin? Or pale, pudgy and uncreative?

Two learnings. 1. Watch “why” you are going out. If it is not an exceptional opportunity, it’s something else. A WASTE OF TIME. 2. Even on a crappy date, I get 50% of the benefit in food and drink. So my $50 wasn’t wasted, it was just not as beneficial as it could’ve been.

What would I have spent that money on had I not gone on flight 7? What energy would be present had I gone to see the live music, ALONE, rather than venturing on this “date?”

Easy enough. I am also gentle with myself and my silly choices.

I am learning. I do not know what this season of my life looks like, I am discovering it.

Sincerely,

The Off Parent

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