Divorce, Single Parenting, Dating, Sex, & Self-Recovery

And Like That, The World of Possibilities Is Endless Again

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And one day you are imagining that you will never taste another woman, that what you have gotten in your marriage is the ultimate love affair you will ever have. And then…

In a flash, in a very painful and emotional flash, you understand her to mean that she is done. She is giving up. And soon you must leave your own house and make your way alone again. It is a terrible moment.

And you try and soften it with titty bars and drinking and pornography. But none of it satisfies the hunger nor relieves the pain. In a moment, she has chosen the way out for both of you. And while you cannot see it for the tears in your eyes, there is another life waiting out there. It will come. It will not come easy. It will not be like college or porn or fantasy life. But it will come.

And with the taste and raw scent of another woman the painful knot is torn open. Once and for all you can declare your desires and raving passions. Once again, you must believe that you can find a woman who fully enjoys sex and doesn’t run away, or close off in an isolated grip of silence working so hard to climax.

She is out there, this new woman, these new women. And if you are able to heal yourself they might take you in and love you for a while. Who knows, perhaps marriage number three really is the perfect number. But all the things you’ve learned. All the sacrifices you’ve made in the name of doing what she wants. It is over and now you will write your own terms.

The first time the new woman explodes in an odd rage of anger it is a warning. You remain calm. “This is nothing,” you say to yourself. The second time there is a misunderstanding with the new woman you seek her out and try to understand what is happening. When those efforts only create more irrational rage you leave and go home. The third time is the charm, a moment of playful banter becomes war. She is done. Or rather, you are done with her. There is no time to fix anyone. You are looking for a woman who does not need fixing.  A woman who does not need saving. A woman who can rub herself to climax while you are fucking her. A woman who wants it again as soon as you are done.

It won’t be weeks or months before the clothes come off this time. You are free to move about the cabin and choose another partner this time. And when the third foul is called and the unanticipated exchange becomes another fight, it is done, and you can let go easily.

Easily this time, because there is no baggage. There is only now. There is only doing right by your kids. There is only the forgetting of what you had and the dreams of what might come again.

Sincerely,

The Off Parent

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3 Responses

  1. Tiptoe Jenkins

    Divorce #1
    No kids, No property, Short Marriage, Easy Peasy. Hey! This Elizabeth Taylor thing is gonna be cool!

    Divorce #2
    Sixteen years, married after first baby born, did “the right thing” and stayed miserable “for the kids” for far too many years. Turns out, they were pretty miserable, too. So, everyone’s unhappy–easy, right? For 6 months (and counting), I have taken on the role of the target for the knifethrower, only I am required to have my hands tied behind my back, blind-folded and back turned facing the thrower. I’m no martyr or victim – I’m simply shocked that someone I loved for so long and tried so hard to make things work with could be so hateful. And I’m a wee bit exhausted from pulling the knives out. I’m poo on his shoe as far s he’s concerned. I’m not perfect, just forgotten. @TiptoeJenkins

    March 29, 2012 at 3:45 am

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